No Pain, No Gain

My heart was beating fast. I laughed mechanically at a joke but my legs were banging on the warm stage constantly. I listened to the shouts and laughter that bounced around the gym walls. I feel bad when I gossip. I feel bad when I spread rumours. And I guess this is more of a confession then a Slice of Life, but anyways, I gossip ALOT. Almost every waking minute I'm conjuring up the newest rumour or finiding out the latest gossip. I know, I dont do rumours anymore but gossiping...that's GOT to be an exception.

I dont look like the sort of person that would gossip or be mean to people, nor do I want to be. I mean, I was raised by good people (lets not bring my sister into this) bur I was taught not to be mean!! I guess it just happens as a fact that you gain friends by gossip. You lose them, you gain them. I happen to know the feeling when people are gossiping or spreading rumours about you--which happened at my old school. I know it doesn't feel very good, but I also know it's fun and addictive.

I sound like I'm talking about smoking or something. Well, I guess you can say it is.

Anyways, I have been trying not to gossip alot lately and now...I'm doing it again. I feel like I'm being dragged into the "gossiping presence" all the time. One conversation with people talking and BAM. I'm craning my neck and eavesdropping which is exactly what happened today.

I really want to be a good person. But I don't know why I can't.