A Bestfriend...

Nathalie, what happens when you find yourself, lost? Do you wander around like a blind man? Or do you sit there and wait? What if you even cry out? Into the darkness where it's no point crying.

I sit in the crowded media center. Like every month. I'm scared when the teacher tells us about friendship. Leaning back on the cushion. My chin rested on my knees. What do I do? I'm lost, I feel like I'm isolating myself.

The sky is bright and so blue like you'll never see in Thailand. The sunlight pours in through the windows, like honey being poured onto like it was something to treasure. The teacher asks: What does a friend do?

I wonder. I wonder. Does it leave a friend behind with no address or information? Does it lie and make the other friend feel bad? No Nathalie, I wasn't a good friend.

Everyday, I wake up, dropping the slippery facial soap. Or wearing my shirt inside out. Or saying "Hi" to my friends and sitting down next to them. Where are you in those days? What are you doing? Do you laugh at the top of your lungs with your new best friends? These questions lead me no where. But at least I know I'm thinking of you.

I realized as I am typing this. That my sort of best friends is always there for you, even if it meant holding up a huge party they were hosting. A best friend tells you the truth no matter what. A best friend makes you laugh through the toughest times. And we want more and get greedy, we tell them to fix their attitude. We tell them to change their personality. No, I wasn't a good friend to you Nathalie.

Best friends cherish their friends, while they can. And that's what I'll do.

I stare out at the wet, rain-washed, shimmery sun. And think of you. Who was always there for me. Who always told me the truth no matter what. Who made me laugh through the toughest times. I miss you Nat. That's all I've got to say, and yet you will cherish it.