She flustered as her name in the role call was called.
"Nathalie!", her teacher boomed through the large classroom. She raised her hand , she was new to this school. Old fashioned and dusty; her mother retorted when Nathalie tried to argue about the school. Her mother made a candid opinion about the school.
All the girls, who looked snobby and posh, as if they were going to make debut appearance to a new T.V show, as they swirled around in their seats to look at her, once more she felt her cheeks turn red, as red as her tight neck-tie around her neck. She felt almost obnoxious. She tried not to frown, or smile stupidly, Nathalie aspired to just hide under her table and sob. But she stood seated, trying to look bold and clever, ready to confront anyone who teases her. But inside she felt her heart pounding like a drum thundering in an orchestra.
At recess, all the girls went off in cliques. Nathalie stood at the doors, waiting for someone to come up to her and ask if she wanted to play. No body did. She glanced around and saw a girl swinging on the swings. Nathalie walked over, trying not to run away or trip in front of her.
"Hey! Is anyone using this swing?" Nathalie asked, looking at the girl and pointing to the swing.
"Sure, go ahead" the girl replied simply, not even looking at Nathalie. She wanted to say a funny joke and be smart and bubbly, but she just felt like a shy girl with no friends.
"So, where did you come from?? I'm Minnie by the way. Your new right??" the girl on the swing asked. Nathalie smiled, for what felt like ages, her new friend!
"Nathalie!", her teacher boomed through the large classroom. She raised her hand , she was new to this school. Old fashioned and dusty; her mother retorted when Nathalie tried to argue about the school. Her mother made a candid opinion about the school.
All the girls, who looked snobby and posh, as if they were going to make debut appearance to a new T.V show, as they swirled around in their seats to look at her, once more she felt her cheeks turn red, as red as her tight neck-tie around her neck. She felt almost obnoxious. She tried not to frown, or smile stupidly, Nathalie aspired to just hide under her table and sob. But she stood seated, trying to look bold and clever, ready to confront anyone who teases her. But inside she felt her heart pounding like a drum thundering in an orchestra.
At recess, all the girls went off in cliques. Nathalie stood at the doors, waiting for someone to come up to her and ask if she wanted to play. No body did. She glanced around and saw a girl swinging on the swings. Nathalie walked over, trying not to run away or trip in front of her.
"Hey! Is anyone using this swing?" Nathalie asked, looking at the girl and pointing to the swing.
"Sure, go ahead" the girl replied simply, not even looking at Nathalie. She wanted to say a funny joke and be smart and bubbly, but she just felt like a shy girl with no friends.
"So, where did you come from?? I'm Minnie by the way. Your new right??" the girl on the swing asked. Nathalie smiled, for what felt like ages, her new friend!
Your stories always capture the reader and take them on a journey.
ReplyDeleteAmazing!!!I could totally get the story!!!I could picture what was happening
ReplyDeleteGreat! That was great! I really liked your metaphors and how you added so much detail. I especially liked the way you explained everything. Like the ending, how she wanted to say a funny joke and be smart and bubbly. I think you did a terrific job! Terrific!
ReplyDeleteSteph
Awsome! I LOVED YOUR USE OF METAPHORS ESPECIALY THE ONE WITH THE ORCHESTRA!! You have one typo, with almost you spelled it as aolmost.:P
ReplyDelete