Odd Habits

Why do I always do my posts in the morning? Especially now, in Spring Break. Oh, I'm scared I might forget about it....

Anyways, I woke up to wash my face and gasped at how much my pimples had cleared over the break. Well, duh there's still alot more clearing up to go, but all the small ones had finally vanished! I was so happy I did a little happy dance (like I did when I got my jeans) and scrubbed the bar of facial soap until it was foamy and washed my face. I reached out for my towel and noticed that it smelled. Like really smelled. I groaned. Yup, this was my sister using my towel again. I always felt that whenever I share stuff with my sister, it always seemed to end up like an untidy heap.

Luckly I had my own room and I'm not that much of a tidy person either (just look at my room and you'll see). I went into the hall and opened the wardrobe of towels and grabbed a nice fluffy one--which is my favorite--and patted my wet face (never EVER scrub your face with a towel-trust me I know).

Honestly, I go trough the same things as everyone else but why? Why is there pimples on me? It's not like I have any stress or anything but my pimples are really stressing me out. I dont know why I'm writing a post about my pimples but my fingers seem to just drag themselves around the key board and do all the tapping. That's another weird thing about me (I seem to have alot) I always have a sudden urge to do something. Like the other day I had a very strong urge to eat KFC. And just yesterday I was craving for cheese burgers. And if you think about it, they're not very healthy are they?

Oh, well. I probably have to finish up thins post or my computer will shut down (low battery.).

A Fresh Jog?

A fresh morning jog

A pant, a sweat-what more?

muscle tugs-what more?

Getting Fit

Yay! It's finally the start of Spring Break! I'm super happy since I'm going to San Blas from Thursday to Saturday. And I've decided to go to the gym every morning, which is what I did today. But I got really tired after 25 minutes of jogging. (It's harder then you think!!)

Anyways, I crawled out of my bed, after my alarm clock rang. I pulled on my yoga pants (I didn't have any gym clothes) and yanked my breathable shirt on. I quickly tied my hair into a messy, high-ponytail and looked at myself in the mirror. Okay, I did look abit weird but I was wearing my slightly-faded turquoise yoga pants and my white, wide-neck shirt. These were the closest things I've got to sporty.

My mom-who was already awake-looked up as I dragged my half-awake feet into the living room. I got myself a bowl of peaches and started munching away as I read Shopaholic and Baby for the third time.

Wait, why was I going to the gym again? Oh, right. I had to excercise since I'm extremely unfit and getting fatter every second.

I grabbed my water bottle and my ipod and headed to the gym with my mom. We got there and my mom showed me how to work it and left. Okay, lets get this over with.

Gulp Gulp. I tilted my head back and drained my water bottle. Gosh, I must've run for like 30 minutes now! I looked at the paused running machine thing and stared at the numbers. Okay, 20 more minutes to go! Was that really just 10 minutes? I resumed my running and decided I was going to do this everyday.

I did promise myself!

Cutting Back

Okay, there's no need to panick. Just a pair of gorgeous shoes and amazing white jeans. I checked both the receits over and over. It can't be right. The shoes were no less then $30!! Then why does it say, $41.35?? Okay...jeans. The jeans were of course much more expenisive than the shoes but come one! $45? Someone must've switched the price tags!! I look at the tags on the shoes and the jeans that cluttered my bed with their bags and tags. Okay, so they replaced the price tags with another price tag that says "WHITE JEANS". Forget that.

Did I really spend that much money? True, I couldn't find my future pencil-case but that doesnt mean the shopping money had to rise! I mean, I actually did a good thing! I insisted on buying it with my own money. It's not my fault my mom refused to take it....

I sit on my bed. My hair crumpled in frustration, I should really start cutting back. I could make my own pancakes instead of buying shop bought pancake mix!! I bet that'd save about $5 or something! Or I could try making my own tissue! The tissue here is a total rip-off!! Okay, forget that.

Well, the jeans were worth it. And just 'cause the shoes are sort of sticky, doesn't mean it's not worth it! I tried on my white jeans one more time. And did a little happy dance infront or my mirror. I put the sandals on and made them dance around my room. Okay, this was totally worth it.

Tick, Tick. That's two things off my Desperate Needs list! Yay! This Saturday was okay after all!

A Bestfriend...

Nathalie, what happens when you find yourself, lost? Do you wander around like a blind man? Or do you sit there and wait? What if you even cry out? Into the darkness where it's no point crying.

I sit in the crowded media center. Like every month. I'm scared when the teacher tells us about friendship. Leaning back on the cushion. My chin rested on my knees. What do I do? I'm lost, I feel like I'm isolating myself.

The sky is bright and so blue like you'll never see in Thailand. The sunlight pours in through the windows, like honey being poured onto like it was something to treasure. The teacher asks: What does a friend do?

I wonder. I wonder. Does it leave a friend behind with no address or information? Does it lie and make the other friend feel bad? No Nathalie, I wasn't a good friend.

Everyday, I wake up, dropping the slippery facial soap. Or wearing my shirt inside out. Or saying "Hi" to my friends and sitting down next to them. Where are you in those days? What are you doing? Do you laugh at the top of your lungs with your new best friends? These questions lead me no where. But at least I know I'm thinking of you.

I realized as I am typing this. That my sort of best friends is always there for you, even if it meant holding up a huge party they were hosting. A best friend tells you the truth no matter what. A best friend makes you laugh through the toughest times. And we want more and get greedy, we tell them to fix their attitude. We tell them to change their personality. No, I wasn't a good friend to you Nathalie.

Best friends cherish their friends, while they can. And that's what I'll do.

I stare out at the wet, rain-washed, shimmery sun. And think of you. Who was always there for me. Who always told me the truth no matter what. Who made me laugh through the toughest times. I miss you Nat. That's all I've got to say, and yet you will cherish it.

No Pain, No Gain

My heart was beating fast. I laughed mechanically at a joke but my legs were banging on the warm stage constantly. I listened to the shouts and laughter that bounced around the gym walls. I feel bad when I gossip. I feel bad when I spread rumours. And I guess this is more of a confession then a Slice of Life, but anyways, I gossip ALOT. Almost every waking minute I'm conjuring up the newest rumour or finiding out the latest gossip. I know, I dont do rumours anymore but gossiping...that's GOT to be an exception.

I dont look like the sort of person that would gossip or be mean to people, nor do I want to be. I mean, I was raised by good people (lets not bring my sister into this) bur I was taught not to be mean!! I guess it just happens as a fact that you gain friends by gossip. You lose them, you gain them. I happen to know the feeling when people are gossiping or spreading rumours about you--which happened at my old school. I know it doesn't feel very good, but I also know it's fun and addictive.

I sound like I'm talking about smoking or something. Well, I guess you can say it is.

Anyways, I have been trying not to gossip alot lately and now...I'm doing it again. I feel like I'm being dragged into the "gossiping presence" all the time. One conversation with people talking and BAM. I'm craning my neck and eavesdropping which is exactly what happened today.

I really want to be a good person. But I don't know why I can't.

Me? Obsessive?? No Way!

I stretched my legs slowly, as I got out of my bed. Oh, it's Wednesday. I keep thinking it's Friday when it's not. At least this week's the last week until Spring break. I dragged myself into the bathroom and got washed up. I was getting a pretty good grade so far, but whenever a teacher showed me my grade I always had this disappointment piling in me. Even though its a pretty good-looking "B", I still wished I got something better.

I haven't been here for so long, but I've seen enough "B's" to last me a life time. I get this nagging feeling, like I did this morning, and it keeps asking "Which college? Which college?", I know people don't think about that often. I don't either. Occasionally, yeah, I do. Other times, I'm like anyone else. Whether the nagging feeling is telling me to get into a good college or I'm getting fat. Either way, every minute of the day effects my future. My old friends told me I was too paranoid. I still talk to them today, telling them that I keep stressing over those sort of things like college and weight. It's stupid, it's obsessive, it's crazy.

Anyways, I reached the dining table, and last nights' homework was sitting on there, half-done. No one seemed to notice, I dropped it into my bag and carried on munching on an apple. I've eaten 2 pieces of chocolate this week, which was really a waste because all the suffering of no chocolate for almost 5 months seemed to go into the trash every bite I took. I know, obsessive. My diet starts tomorrow, I'm going to really study next quarter. Call me an obsessive freak but I care more about the future then I do now.